The 9 Biggest Mistakes I Made In My 20's

I've made my fair share of mistakes. We all fuck up.

Your 20's are a really confusing time for a lot of people. The're supposed to be an adventure. Everyone tells you to have fun. The best years of your life, right?

You’re old enough to be independent so you buy the ticket. You go on that holiday with your friends. Everything seems new to you. Life just throws opportunities at you.

But, at the same time, you’re supposed to be planning for your future.

Because these years will shape the rest of your life.

So you go to university, get the degree, and then you have to have life figured out and have adult life all figured out

I definitely didn’t have it figured out in my 20’s.

And now that I’m approaching the latter stages of my 20’s - I thought it would be a good time to reflect on some of the mistakes I made.

(Also - it doesn’t really matter what age you are when you’re watching this).

Whether you’re older or younger. People are all at different stages. So it's not important.

Hopefully it inspires or teaches you something.

They say that at the end of our lives. You won’t regret the things you did do.

You’ll regret the things that you didn’t do.

And this rings true based on my experiences with older patients. I remember one patient on my ward in the hospital and at the time and they were over 100 years old.

I built a good rapport with them during their time and we would have a laugh and a joke about the food and the hospital gowns that they get given. I’ll never forget this one moment.

They were telling me their life story and giving me advice and they said that "regrets are the shadows that linger when we forget to chase our dreams".

And because of this, not all of these mistakes are things I did, some are things I didn’t do and wish I did sooner.

Mistake #1: Saying yes too much.

You should say no to most things and only yes to opportunities that will actually benefit you. This way, you’ll free up your time to do the things you love with the people that matter.

For me, I think my attitude shifted towards this over last couple of years.

At the start of my 20’s when I was studying in London, I would say yes to most things. If I would get invited to a party, I wouldn’t hesitate to say yes even if I had an important meeting the following morning.

I’d take on numerous commitments and end up saying yes to most things. As time went on, I realised that not all of these activities were adding significant value to my life.

Like, do I need to go to this random flat party on a Tuesday night?

Probably not.

By adopting the principle of saying yes only to beneficial opportunities, I could have transitioned myself to a more purposeful and fulfilling approach.

If it excites you.Yes.

If not. Say no.

Mistake #2: Drinking too often.

This mistake is related to the first one.

Drinking alcohol too often. A classic.

In my first year at university, I used to go out my fair share.

Meet up with friends, drink, go out, party, sleep terribly, be shattered the next day, repeat.

When I first arrived in London, the allure of the vibrant nightlife and the excitement of socialising often led me to frequent evenings out with friends. There were so many cool clubs and places that I needed to visit. I found myself caught up in a cycle of drinking and partying multiple times a week.

The initial thrill of these nights out was accompanied by sleepless nights and exhausting mornings. As I battled through the consequences of each day, by the evening I’d find myself in the same cycle again.

I never really thought about the consequences at the time. But everyone was going out a lot - it just seemed normal.

Reflecting back, it's clear that going out often took a toll on multiple aspects of my well-being.

Firstly, the disrupted sleep patterns left me feeling fatigued and less equipped to face each day's challenges. I also put on a lot of weight. I think I started first year at like 75 kilos and by the start of second year I had ballooned up to 95 kilos.

I did start going to the gym for the first time around then but the empty calories from the alcohol definitely contributed to unnecessary weight gain.

I actually made a video on quitting alcohol, below:

In the video I mention the cost of drinking. Not only in the health aspect but the actual money you spend on nights out and drinking.

I spent a fair bit of money on nights out. Probably too much and London isn’t cheap.

You’re probably better off spending it on things that will actually improve your life like travel and new experiences.

Mistake #3: I wish I meditated.

I won’t talk about this one too much, I’ve done a video on meditation (also below).

What I will say is this:

Discovering meditation was a major moment in my journey of personal growth.

I’m grateful that I found it towards the end of my 20’s but looking back, I can't help but wish I had started sooner.

It’s genuinely enriched my life in ways I didn’t think it would. It provides a refuge from the chaos of modern life. I think it would have really benefited me, especially at the start of my 20’s because it's made me better equipped to manage stress and anxiety.

Looking back, social stress was something I didn’t handle that well at uni.

If someone said something rude or criticised me, I would take it quite personally.

Whether it would be someone winding me up during a football game or something, I’d handle it in the wrong way sometimes. Maybe if I embarked on the meditation journey a bit earlier, I might have navigated certain life challenges with more clarity.

But I can’t change the past, all I can do is change the now.

So, maybe give meditation a go - what do you have to lose?

Mistake #4: Worrying too much about what others think.

Fear is a powerful force. It has the power to paralyse your dreams.

There’s a cognitive bias called the “spotlight effect”, which is where people tend to overestimate how much others notice you.

It leads us to believed that we are under constant scrutiny.

When in fact, no one cares.

The anxiety I had before uploading my first video was actually insane. It didn’t make sense.

I’d put it off and make excuses in my head to justify myself like “the editing isn’t perfect” or what if people start talking behind my back and think my content sucks etc.

But in reality, most people are much too focused on themselves to even worry about what you’re doing. They’re too preoccupied with their own lives to even care.

Genuinely, no one cares.

So, go ahead and do what you want to do.

Start the business that you’ve been thinking about.

Take the risk.

Write the book that you’ve been putting off for ages or start a YouTube channel.

Don’t let the fear of judgement stop you from doing what you want to do.

Just don’t let it.

Mistake #5: Neglecting sleep.

The next big mistake was neglecting my sleep.

Balancing lectures, social events, studying for med school exams, a part time job, sports and family life meant that I often found myself stretched thin. Because of this, sleep would be near the bottom of my priority list.

I never really had a consistent sleep schedule. I would go to bed usually at midnight or later. I’d just keep tapping the next episode button on Netflix and binge into the night.

Over time, my lack of sleep would lead to me feeling groggy in the mornings and barely functioning, I’d get ill more frequently and I would just feel exhausted most of the time.

It took me several years into my 20’s for me to realise that I needed to shift my mindset about sleep and deliberately commit to prioritising it.

Once I started to pay attention to my body and sleep earlier, I was able to find more time in the mornings to get things done.

Now I wake up around 5am ish which is something that I couldn’t picture doing at the start of my 20’s.

Back then I didn’t realise that sleep is a luxury that should not be sacrificed.

The endless stream of social commitments and the attitudes of the people around me towards sleep encouraged me to kick the can down the road and sleep as late as I wanted to.

Consistency with my sleep is what I aim for now.

If you want to upgrade your sleep or find out what the dangers are of not sleeping enough, watch this:

Mistake #6: Build real friendships.

I’ve been quite blessed from this standpoint actually so it’s not so much a mistake.

It’s more to do with spending too much time with drainers.

Let me explain.

Broadly speaking, there’s 2 types of people.

Ones that give you energy and ones that take it.

The first type is the best kind.

These are your boosters. They leave you feeling energised, inspired and you’re happier around them. They support you and celebrate your wins.

The opposite to these are drainers.

They have a negative attitude, they complain and you feel the life being sucked out of you when you’re around them. They bring you down for no reason. They don’t support your endeavours.

These are not your friends.

Having said that, it’s hard to distinguish these sometimes. It’s a difficult landscape to navigate because you might have friends that fit this drainer category.

I’ve been through this myself. They might even have qualities that are endearing and likeable, which can blur the lines.

And you might be friends with them for a while before you realise.Because of this. It can be difficult for you to sever ties with people you know who are like this.

But honestly, it’s will do you good in the long run.

Remember, you don’t owe them your loyalty if they don’t treat you like true friends should.

They don’t deserve it. Life is too short to waste it with these people.

Mistake #7: Not reflecting enough.

It’s a really simple practice and takes only a few minutes.

Reflecting on your achievements and embracing the present moment is a good way of finding contentment in your life. A part of my journalling process is a gratitude practice.

Gratitude is a powerful force.

It's like a lens through which we see the world in a different light.

When you take time to reflect on your life, you start to notice the small things that often go unnoticed – the warmth of a smile, the comfort of a familiar place, the laughter of a loved one.

Through journaling, I realised that constantly wanting more blinds us to what we already have. Journaling helped me cultivate a habit of gratitude.

Each day, I write down a few things I'm thankful for.

It could be as simple as a good cup of coffee in the morning or not living in a poverty stricken environment.

When you consistently practice gratitude, you begin to shift your focus from what's lacking to what's abundant in your life.

It's like flipping a switch that illuminates the blessings that were always there.

So, my advice: Don't underestimate the impact of simple self-reflection and gratitude practice

And never take anything for granted.

You don't know if you will be here tomorrow.

Every day is a gift.

Mistake #8: Not learning enough creative skills.

Looking back, I now realise how crucial these skills are in various aspects of life, even in fields that might seem rigid or formulaic, like mine.

At the time, I convinced myself that creativity had little to no place in my profession.

In my line of work you can’t really be creative.

To an extent, you're bound by algorithms and treatment plans. As a doctor you can’t really experiment on a patient… (Unless you have approval from the ethics board).

And while these boundaries are necessary for patient safety, they inadvertently led me to believe that creativity wasn't relevant to my role at all. Which is true to some extent, other than the problem-solving and adaptability you have to develop.

Because of this, during medical school I didn’t really think I had any creative skills. I didn’t really think that I would need them, nor did I think that I was any good at them. I had a turning point a few months ago when I started making videos and content.

It started as a curiosity, a hobby I pursued in my free time.

I actually tweeted about this. Or X’d about it. I don’t know what the verb is.

I said:

The rest of the thread is below:

You need 3 types of hobbies that can help you build a purposeful life.

1. A hobby that keeps you in shape.

Strengthening your body will strengthen your character.

Stay fit, stay healthy, stay disciplined.

Your older self will thank you.

2. A hobby that provides income.

Cultivate skills that: a) align with your values b) align your ambitions c) encompass activities that you enjoy

These skills can be monetised & provide you with one day, financial abundance.

3. A hobby that evolves your mindset.

Engage in activities that expands your intellectual horizons.

Explore new fields of study.

Embrace lifelong learning through reading, writing, creating & exploring.

You will evolve as a result.

You should go ahead and pursue your hobbies. They may open a door for you to learn new skills.

I learned about writing, storytelling and editing videos.

The process of editing videos, crafting scripts, and designing visual elements also instilled in me a sense of autonomy and control.

Something that my day job doesn’t really allow for.

So find that creative outlet, it can provide you with a refreshing change.

The outlet could be a side hustle or a project you’ve been meaning to start.

You’ll broaden your horizons, and unlock new avenues of impact that you never thought was possible.

Just start.

Mistake #9: Chasing instant gratification.

This was unquestionably one of the most significant mistakes I made during my 20's, and it's a common pitfall that many of us fall into.

We all do it.

The allure of immediate rewards can be overpowering, it encourages us to make choices that prioritise short-term pleasures over long-term goals.

This tendency to seek instant gratification can really undermine personal growth and hinder progress.

At the start of my 20’s and even before then, I would find myself spending hours each day playing video games, scrolling through social media or impulse buying random things I didn’t need.

I’d start projects and hobbies and if they didn’t give me instant rewards or I had to put a lot of effort in, I’d just lose interest and move onto the next thing.

But, I entered a new phase in the last year or two. I allocate my time a lot more strategically now.

Rather than spending hours on mindless activities, I invest that time in researching, writing newsletters, filming, and editing my videos to try and make them better.

I know that the first 40 or 50 videos might not get lots of views or subscribers, but I believe that over time, as I refine my content and connect with my audience, the rewards will be more meaningful.

It requires a shift in mindset, acknowledging that the most rewarding results often require time, dedication, and sustained effort.

I touch on this stuff in my dopamine detox video.

It might be worth a watch:

So those were the main mistakes. I’ve missed a few I’m sure.

But I just want to end by saying. No matter what anyone says. Your 20’s matter.

These years can truly shape your life. For a lot of people it’s where you’ll make some life-changing decisions like.

Where you’re going to live. What career you’re going to have or who your partner is going to be.

If you think about it, your 20’s the highest leverage decade of your life.

The skills you accumulate, the decisions you make and the experiences you gather will compound over time and define you.

And this doesn’t just apply to your 20’s by the way. Approach life intentionally and set the stage for an impactful life journey. And lastly, don't compare yourself to others, create your own life.

Success is different for everybody.

A quote from a great

Have a great day,

Z

Connect with me, genuinely love hearing your thoughts

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