How To Find Your Purpose
Imagine you have a good job that pays well, a loving family and friends that are there for you. But deep down, despite all the positive aspects of your life, you know that there is something missing, but you can’t quite put your finger on it.
It’s a feeling that lingers, sometimes in the quiet moments of the night, or when you’re alone with your thoughts.
It’s as if there’s a piece of the puzzle that hasn’t fallen into place yet.
You might feel a kind of restlessness, a longing for something more, something deeper.
It’s not that you’re ungrateful for what you have; but there’s an inner voice that tells you there’s more to life than what you’re currently experiencing.
You may find yourself questioning the path you’re on.
Is this really what I want to do for the rest of my life? Am I making a meaningful impact? Am I truly happy, or just comfortable?
These questions are honestly quite difficult to face, but you have to ask yourself them.
This feeling of something missing is often a sign that you are searching for your purpose. It’s like an invitation to start a journey of self-discovery, to find out what truly makes you feel alive.
Some of my close friends, who have been in the corporate world for more than five years, have told me at some point that something was bothering them.
They were struggling to find real meaning and purpose in their life.
They’re not alone. So many people feel confused and stuck in life, not only because they don’t have a purpose, but because they don’t have a clear direction.
Ever since we were kids, we are forced to start climbing ladders that we don’t actually want to be on or playing games that we don’t actually want to win.
From a young age, society imposes a rigid structure on us, dictating what we should learn, what goals we should pursue, and how success is defined.
Education systems prioritise standardised testing and conventional achievements over individual passions and talents, and this doesn’t leave you much room for self discovery.
"The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away," - Picasso.
This predetermined path has a tendency to suppress our potential.
Instead of nurturing our unique interests and abilities, we are often pushed to conform to a narrow set of expectations.
And this pressure to walk on pre-existing paths leads us to pursue careers and lifestyles that don’t actually resonate with our inner selves.
And over time, this misalignment between who we are and the roles we’re forced to play can create a sense of dissatisfaction and a longing for something more meaningful.
Because of this, a lot of us end up living lives that feel more like obligations than adventures, and we lose sight of who we really are.
But what even is a purpose?..
A purpose is your why, it gives you something to progress to; it gives you direction, and that progression can lead to fulfilment.
It can be a really powerful thing once you know what it is because it can influence your behaviours and guide your decision-making.
It can give you energy and make you enthusiastic because you will be on the path to making a difference. Honestly, your purpose could be anything.
It could be to raise kids who are happy with who they are.
It could be to help those who are suffering.
It could be to dedicate your life to religion, to support a social issue like climate change, or to travel the world to experience new cultures and perspectives.
Can you see the common theme with all of these?
The purpose is bigger than you.
It transcends personal gain and ego. It’s about contributing to something greater than yourself. A lot of the time, we are so focused on ourselves. Everything is about us. We’re self-obsessed creatures, concerned with how we look, how we want to be treated, and how we are perceived by others. This self-centredness isn’t good because it forces you to live within a narrow perspective, and it can stop you from connecting with the world around you.
It’s easy to get caught up in our own desires, our own struggles, and our own ambitions, but this inward focus can isolate us and make us feel disconnected.
To find a deeper sense of purpose, you need to go beyond your wants and desires.
This is key. You need to see things with a wider view.
And this involves expanding your awareness and empathy to include the experiences and needs of others.
When you shift your focus outward, you begin to recognise the interconnectedness of all people and the importance of contributing to the greater good.
Once you do this, you can start to see the needs of others, and then you can try to make their lives better or lessen their suffering.
This shift in perspective allows you to find meaning in acts of kindness and service.
Going deeper means looking beyond the surface of your daily life and asking profound questions about what truly matters.
You need to have introspection and a willingness to explore your values, passions, and strengths.
And your purpose can evolve over time as you gain new insights and experiences. (I’ll talk about more about this later).
But finding this purpose isn’t easy because we have these limiting beliefs about ourselves.
We tend to internalise these limitations, convincing ourselves that we’re not talented enough, not smart enough, or not capable of making a big impact.
These doubts and fears literately create mental barriers that stop us from exploring our potential.
To overcome these limiting beliefs you need courage, self-awareness, and a willingness to challenge the narratives we’ve been told and the ones we tell ourselves.
Also you don’t have to make a living off your purpose or passion. What matters is the meaning it brings to your life.
If it fulfils you, it’s valuable.
So how can you find that purpose? It starts with self-reflection.
The first thing you have to realise is that it doesn’t have to be one grandiose statement or anything like that. It doesn’t have to be a fixed thing either because it can change.
Living a purposeful life means that you are aligned in your values, your decisions and your actions. There are a few things you can do but first you need to remove all distractions.
Grab a notepad and think as broadly as possible. You need to ask yourself some hard questions.
1. What are you good at?
Think about what comes easy to you.
This isn’t just about your professional skills but also the natural talents and abilities that you may take for granted.
For example, for me, it's my ability to talk to and connect with people.
At my day job I speak to patients who are ill and suffering, and the feedback I’ve had is that I communicate well, I’m empathetic, understanding and easy to talk to.
Also lot of people don’t even recognise their own gift, it’s usually hidden in plain sight. And sometimes, it takes an outsider’s perspective to reveal them.
If this is you, reach out. Ask a couple of friends, family members, or mentors for their honest opinion. Ask them, "You’ve known me for a while. What are some of my strengths? What am I really good at? What do you think I enjoy doing?"
Their answers might surprise you.
They might see something that you’ve overlooked. This feedback can be the key to unlocking your purpose.
2. What are you passionate about?
Passion is a powerful driver of purpose. Reflect on what excites you and brings you joy. What activities make you lose track of time?
For me, ever since I was a child, I really didn’t like suffering. This aversion to seeing others in pain fuels my passion for helping people heal.
Sometimes, you have to look backwards to move forwards.
3. What makes you feel good?
Reflect on the moments in your life when you felt the most joy and fulfilment.
Was it with friends, family, or maybe your partner? Where were you, and what were you doing?
Understanding these peak moments can give you clues about what truly matters to you and what kinds of activities and environments bring you happiness.
Think back to a gathering where you felt an overwhelming sense of belonging and happiness. Maybe it was a holiday, a reunion, or a simple weekend barbecue.
The laughter, the stories, and connections with your loved ones can highlight the importance of relationships and community in your life.
Or maybe you felt really good about that time when you felt fulfilled by making a difference in someone else's life. Maybe it was volunteering, helping a coworker or maybe you were mentoring someone.
For me, I get a lot of fulfilment from helping people feel better, and I’m grateful that I’m able to do this and have an impact on peoples lives, even if it’s a small one.
If you’re the same and making a difference is what makes you happy, explore opportunities to contribute to your community and help others.
4. What would you do if you couldn’t fail?
Think about the dreams and ambitions you have pushed aside because they seemed impractical or out of reach. Genuinely, what would you pursue if success was guaranteed?
Recognising your strengths and how you can use them to make a difference can reveal your true purpose.
Write down the things you care about, and just let your imagination run free.
And now, I want you to fast forward 10 years. What are you doing? What matters to you? What do you actually care about, and why?
Envisioning your future self can help you identify the steps you need to take now to align with that vision.
Think about the people you admire, whether they are famous or not. What qualities and actions of theirs inspire you?
You don’t need fame to fulfil your life’s purpose; a lot of the time, the most meaningful lives are lived quietly and shared with those closest to them.
When you ask these questions, your focus will shift from your own problems to the problems of others. This external focus can be really motivating. Once you figure out your purpose, it can light a fire beneath you.
For me, my purpose is to help people grow and feel better about themselves.
I want to help people.
As a doctor, this translates into my daily interactions with patients, but it can also manifest in many other ways throughout my life. Like what I’m doing with these articles and YouTube videos.
Once you figure this out, it can be really powerful and energising. You have to pour yourself into it.
And your purpose can change over time; you can add layers to it. You can create goals based off your purpose.
But don’t get the two confused.
Think of goals as the destination, the point you want to reach.
I spoke in another video about my friend who climbed Mount Kilimanjaro.
The goal was clear: it was to reach the top of the mountain.
That was the endpoint. He achieved the goal. But his purpose was different.
The purpose was the driving force behind his actions. The purpose was his why.
His why was that he wanted to push himself and see what he was capable of.
And having that purpose made the journey meaningful. He didn’t just climb it for the sake of it or for an Insta pic. He had a real reason.
Another thing that can help you find your purpose is called Ikigai.
It’s a powerful Japanese philosophy which translates to "reason for being".
The concept of Ikigai has been captured by a Venn diagram (below)
You’ve probably seen it before.
I won’t spend much time talking about it there’s loads of youtube videos on the topic that go into more depth but essentially, the concept is centred around asking yourself 4 questions, and your Ikigai is in the middle of the overlapping spheres.
You need to ask yourself What you love. What you’re good at. What the world needs. What you can be paid for.
Those are the 4 domains of interest. Now, it can help, but it's sometimes difficult to find things that overlap.
Also if you can’t find the right thing that intersects all 4 aspects, then does that mean you can’t find your life’s purpose?
And if you’re young or a student or don’t have a job or money, then the diagram just tells you to find something that you can get paid for.
Applying the concept to a venn diagram is a bit of an oversimplification.
The philosophy itself can be really powerful so I encourage you to explore it further.
Another thing you need to know is that finding your purpose doesn’t necessarily mean you have to overhaul your entire life.
Live in alignment with your values. Explore your interests. Stop compromising your authentic self.
What do you believe in? What do you want the rest of your life to be like?
Sometimes it actually helps to begin with the end in mind. Picture yourself at the end of your life and look backwards.
Were you curious and interested in people? Were you caring, kind, and loyal? Were you trustworthy? Were you on a mission?
So, how do you want to live?
What mark do you want to leave behind?
Take risks. Embrace failure as a stepping stone.
Trust your intuition.
Stay true to your dreams, even when the path is tough.
Seek out experiences that challenge and inspire you.
Surround yourself with people who uplift and support you.
And remember, your purpose is not fixed; it evolves with you.
Take that first step.
Reflect, ask questions, and start your journey of self-discovery.
Your purpose is out there, waiting for you to find it.
A quote from a great
Have a great day friends,
Z
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