Apr 19, 2024 8 min read

7 Unexpected Benefits of Being Alone

Solitude is the furnace of transformation.

I had a thought recently - I spend a lot of time alone for someone who's not exactly introverted.

Even though my work at the hospital is very people facing, for the last few months, I’ve been spending a lot of time by myself. I don’t really know if this is intentional or not. But, it’s just the way it is right now.

I gym alone. I eat alone. I go on walks alone. I travel alone. I sleep alone.

I’m alone a lot.

So it got me thinking. Some people love being alone while others can’t think of anything worse.

In a world where its easier to connect with people more than ever before, people are people still feeling lonely.

But is this a bad thing? Can being alone be good for you? I think it can.

Today, we’re going through 7 reasons why choosing to be alone can be a powerful thing.

Ok first, let's define some terms.

Loneliness is a complex emotional state characterised by feelings of sadness and isolation.

And this can be a result of not having enough social connections or meaningful relationships with people.

It can also mean feeling unwanted and having a persistent sense of isolation, even when you're around people. It can weigh heavy on your mind. Anyone who’s experienced this will know.

It actually reminds me of certain aspects of my childhood and maybe we can talk about that another time.

And I’m sure you can imagine, loneliness correlates with negative health outcomes including high blood pressure, cardiovascular disease and mental health disorders.

Solitude on the other hand is the state of being alone, usually as a deliberate choice.

This element of choice is a key distinction between solitude and loneliness.

Solitude is a voluntary decision, we can transition between being alone and being social. We have the flexibility to reconnect with others as needed.

In contrast, loneliness is a persistent state that cannot be easily controlled.

You can’t usually just switch off feelings of loneliness.

And this is what the focus of this article will be. Solitude.

1. Self discovery.

Being alone forces you to get to know yourself because you’re alone with your thoughts. This can lead to a deeper level of self-trust and confidence in your own skin.

Let me share a story about one of my good friends who spent the whole of last year travelling.

The first 5 months of the trip he was travelling across Africa and he was solo most of the time.

So I asked him, why did he want to travel alone? Surely it would have been more fun to do the trip with family or friends?

And he told me that the motivation for the trip initially started from needing a break. He had a comfortable routine, several years in the same job and he was getting paid well. But in his mind he felt stagnant and he was lacking fulfilment.

After some thought he decided to quit his job, packed his bag and set off to explore Africa. During his solo travels, he encountered numerous challenges and embraced the discomfort that came with it.

There were a lot of unknowns.

He navigated unfamiliar situations with street smarts, learned to avoid unnecessary conflicts, and immersed himself in different cultures through volunteer work, experiencing raw emotions he had never felt before.

It really opened his eyes to the world. There was a specific moment when he was climbing Mount Kilimanjaro - the highest mountain in Africa.

He told me that he wanted to climb the mountain and challenge himself so he could see what he could be capable of. He put himself in a scenario where there was a high chance of failure, but he had to find a way to prevail and succeed.

He summited the mountain in 72 hours. The climb itself was actually fine most of the way up.

He would get occasional minor headache along the trek but then when he got about 150 metres from the top, that final ascent to the summit.

The nausea hit him out of nowhere. He had never felt altitude sickness like this before.

He was physically broken.

So what he did was he told me that he broke the task at hand down into smaller, bitesized pieces. Focusing on one objective at a time.

That was the only thing that mattered to him in that moment in his life. Looking up the mountain and taking one step at a time.

And during the climb to the top, my friend and the few people left with him would whisper pole pole, pole pole, which means slowly in Swahili.

When he got to the top he told me that it was a really emotional experience, but not in the way he thought it would be. He thought he would feel this relief and joy of achieving his goal.

But he had a moment where he realised that this was one of the few occasions in his life where he had given 100%. Like actually 100%.

If the mountain was a foot higher he wouldn’t have made it. It was that difficult reaching the top. It made him reflect on his entire life.

He was living a privileged life, living in a good neighbourhood, had a good job, he had friends and family around him.

And he hasn’t really applied himself to his full capabilities.

But this time, he really did.

So hid he change as a person? In many ways he remained the same at the summit as he was at the bottom. But he discovered aspects about himself. It changed his perspective.

And it encouraged him to start a new life in a different country.

Now he carries with him a deeper understanding of himself and a heightened appreciation for the opportunities life presents. He doesn’t take things for granted so much now.

So, the next time you find yourself alone, maybe you should embrace it as an opportunity for self-discovery.

2. Reflection.

Being alone allows you to reflect because solitude is a space where the noise of the outside world fades away, leaving you and your thoughts.

In the peace of your own company, you have the opportunity to explore your inner thoughts and feelings, and this can help you to understand your emotions on a deeper level.

Journalling is a useful tool for this. I journal at the end of each day, each week and month. What it does is it helps me to organise my thoughts and gain insights into my emotions and behaviours.

Reflection is crucial for growth. When you're alone, you can think back on past events and evaluate your actions and habits.

I’ve done a video on habits so watch it if you want to know how to build good ones:

By spending time alone, you can assess your habits objectively without external influences. You can see which habits are helping you and which ones are holding you back.

This self-awareness is important for helping you to achieve your goals.

3. Personal growth.

I think that embracing solitude is crucial for personal growth and resilience.

In a world where attention and conformity are constantly demanded, the idea of seeking isolation might seem counterintuitive.

But alone time allows you to focus on your goals and aspirations without distractions, and this clarity can help you to plan and take steps towards achieving whatever it is you want.

You also have the freedom to explore new interests and hobbies without external pressures.

This time you have by yourself to explore new things can lead to new passions and a more fulfilling life.

4. Developing resilience.

Being comfortable with solitude teaches you to become more independent and resilient.

When you’re comfortable spending time alone, you become less dependent on others for validation or happiness, and this can really pave the way for a stronger sense of self that isn't dependent on external factors.

This internal validation can really pave the way for you to navigate life’s challenges with more confidence and stability.

On top of this, being comfortable being alone empowers you to take charge of your mental health.

You become more attuned to your own emotions and needs, and you develop healthier coping mechanisms for dealing with stress.

5. Mental health.

In a world that is constantly bombarding us with stimuli and vying for our attention, we often find ourselves overwhelmed by the constant demands of social interactions.

And that’s why carving out moments of solitude can really help you to escape this chaos of modern life.

For me, one of the most effective ways to recharge my mind is through meditation.

I remember a particularly stressful period in my life when work deadlines and personal responsibilities seemed to be piling up.

Feeling overwhelmed, I decided to dedicate a few minutes each day to sit in quiet meditation.

And I do this every day now. I’ve done a video on this topic too (below)

The key

You might be surprised how powerful it can be.

And you can try it too, just find a peaceful corner in your home, close your eyes and focus on your breath. Just for a couple minutes.

Another thing that I’ve found quite helpful is going on walks by myself.

This can help you find a bit of peace in your hectic life. So try and make a conscious effort to prioritise doing things for yourself during your alone time.

Whether it’s reading a book or going for a run or something. Whatever it is, pencil it in your diary and give yourself that time.

6. Creativity & productivity.

Another benefit of solitude is that it can foster creativity and productivity.

I think that in order to achieve your best work, you have to allocate time for uninterrupted focus.

For instance, I've found that my most productive and creative moments occur during the early hours of the morning when the world is still asleep.

It’s during these peaceful times where I immerse myself in writing my newsletter and editing my YouTube videos, before I go to work and I’m disturbed by the hustle and bustle of daily life.

If early mornings don’t work for you, it doesn’t matter. Just find a time that suits you.

You can head to a quiet corner of your favourite cafe or find an empty space in your office to disconnect from the the outside world which can help you to step into creative flow.

Distractions are the enemy of productivity.

To fully leverage the benefits of solitude, you need to eliminate distractions or minimise their impact.

Try to create a barrier between you and distractions.

Turning off notifications, silencing your phone, or removing devices altogether can help create a place where you can enter deep work easier.

And if you approach solitude in a disciplined manner, you can create the time and space to concentrate on your most important tasks.

Whether it's writing, brainstorming ideas, or doing something creative, solitude provides a place for deep work and meaningful creation.

7. Relationships.

When you're by yourself, you get the chance to reflect on what actually matters to you, and that can bring your family and friends to the forefront of your mind.

When I’m alone, I sometimes find myself reminiscing about past memories and it helps me to realise the importance of spending quality time with friends and family. Solitude gives you the space to appreciate these relationships even more.

But it's not just about appreciation; solitude also helps you become more self-aware. You start to understand your own needs and boundaries better, which allows you to communicate more effectively in your relationships.

Setting good and healthy boundaries becomes second nature when you've had time for introspection.

I hope you can see how embracing solitude is important for personal growth.

I used to love going to social gatherings and parties. I loved social connections and company. And don’t get me wrong, I still do.

But I’m not craving those things like I used to, the FOMO isn’t really there for me.

In some way and I’m not sure how, these things are slowly losing their appeal to me. I find myself being okay with being alone.

I feel at peace right now.

There was a spiritual thinker called Henri Nouwen, and he said:

“Solitude is the furnace of transformation, Without solitude we remain victims of our society and continue to be entangled in the illusions of the false self”.

And I completely agree. I think it takes courage to face your own reflection.

Both in the mirror and in your mind. To hear your true thoughts and to accept them. Without getting distracted by the outside world, forcing you to look away.

Taking time for myself brings peace. It’s a chance to reconnect with my inner self and find clarity.

It can be quite liberating. Embrace it.

Give yourself that time. It’s worth it.